Let’s face it.
It’s already hard to get some people to like you, so how is it even possible to get EVERYONE to like you. Especially if you aren’t familiar with the person or you don’t have many commonalities, it seems like an uphill battle to get a random stranger to become your friend.
In this blog article, I will show you three skills that you can master to get anyone to like you and how you can easily turn an acquaintance into a friend.
Talk Good Behind Their Back
Have you ever wondered how some people just seem to have no enemies Well that’s because they have mastered the first principle to make everyone like them. That is that they talk good about people to their face AND behind their back.
Anyone can say sweet but insincere words to someone’s face, but it is a whole other challenge to say sweet things about someone behind their back. While some are naturally good at this, others have a very hard time saying nice things about a person when they aren’t there.
So if you want everyone to like you and don’t want to have any enemies to watch out for, make sure to say good things about them to their face and behind their back. The bonus of doing this is that when the person hears what nice things you said about them when they weren’t there, they will feel appreciated and sincerely praised rather than insulted.
Now you may be wondering, what about when you’re with your friends and your friends are talking badly about someone? Well, first of all, this is a form of bullying and you should not engage in such a conversation. That said if it is only to a mild extent or you have no way out of the conversation, you may find yourself in a tricky spot.
In this situation, it is much harder to not say bad things about this person because on one hand, you don’t want this person to hate you, but on the other hand, you still want social approval from your friends.
So the solution to this would be to refrain from saying anything bad about the person they are discussing, no matter how much your peers dislike that person. I’m not saying that you have to oppose the entire group and defend the person, but as long as you don’t say anything yourself, you can avoid having to talk poorly about someone.
Smile When They Talk
Have you ever talked to someone and thought to yourself, “wow, he/she was very nice to talk to.” Well that is most likely because they were smiling while you were talking. It’s such a simple task, but so few of us actually do it.
By smiling while the other person is talking, you give off a warm impression and signal to the other person that you are interested in what they are saying. By doing this, they will feel more at ease and will like to talk to you more often.
On a similar note, you should laugh — sincerely laugh — whenever they make a funny statement or describe a comedic event. Everyone loves it when you laugh at their jokes because they feel a sense of accomplishment and social approval. And if you can always be the one to provide approval of their funniness, they will gravitate towards you more and try to make you laugh even more, resulting in them liking you more.
Be Genuinely Interested In Others
Too often, people are too focused on themselves to be interested in others. However, if you are able to master this third skill, you will be miles ahead of the rest in terms of likeability and agreeableness.
This skill requires that you be interested in others, genuinely interested. Stop talking about yourself for once and invite others to talk about themselves. Since everyone is self-absorbed to some extent, they will love it when you give them a chance to talk about themself and have a truly captivated listener.
Once you start practicing this and doing it more often, you will find just how easy it is to make friends and how willing people are to share their lives with you. All you have to do is listen.
A Quick Story
One time I was sitting in the cafeteria of my college dorm eating breakfast with two other people: a good friend and a mutual friend whom I didn’t know. After finishing his breakfast, my good friend left the table and it was just me and the mutual friend.
I thought, “this is the perfect time to practice my listening skills.” So I asked him about what he loved to do, and he replied with “coding.” I was thrown off a little and thought that it was rather quirky or nerdy. But listening to him a little longer, I discovered so much about him that I never would have thought.
I learned that he has been coding since fourth grade and can write in about twenty different coding languages while fluently writing in five. I also learned everything from game development to artificial intelligence mechanisms to even how professional chess bots work. I was blown away by the amount of knowledge this guy had and surely would have never guessed what would have come out of this conversation.
Two hours of talking later, we went from not knowing each other to being best friends so that now whenever I pass by him or have questions about coding, I never feel afraid to ask him.
This is just one of many stories of how being interested in others has changed my life and how it can change yours too.
Final Words
I understand that it is unreasonable to want absolutely everyone to like you, because some people will just refuse to like you no matter what. That is just human nature. But by applying these three principles, you will have a much higher chance of getting anyone to enjoy being around you.
Generally, these skills make you more agreeable and less likely to make enemies. But if you really want to make more friends and have more close alliances, be sure to put yourself out there and make others feel heard. You will find that people will talk when they feel they are being listened to, so make a genuine effort to listen more.
Hopefully, you will be able to take what I said to heart and try to practice these skills every day. Remember, your actions define your person.
